Stop Playing with SIN

STOP PLAYING WITH SIN!
(The David Ewart Story)

 At the present time, I am the inmate pastor at the prison chapel. God is in the restoration business. I know...I am being restored every day. I pray for my children and the rest of my family that I have hurt beyond belief. You do have my permission to use my testimony in whatever way you feel will glorify the name of Jesus Christ.
My incarceration is the direct result of my sin; not one great huge sin, by a change of my behavior. It took Satan time to destroy my value system and my strong beliefs. My temptation, subsequently my fall from grace, was like the frog that is placed in cool water with a very low flame under the container, as time goes by, the water heats up and the frog is cooked, never knowing what happened!
I am incarcerated in a California prison, with a sentence of 34 years to life. The first time that I will be eligible for the parole board, will be the year 2015, which at that time I will be 71 years old. I am a first time offender.
My heart feels concern for the individuals that are hearing this testimony, and what I feel compelled to say is: Stop playing with sin; God will not be mocked. He will not be mocked now or tomorrow.  There is always going to be a consequence for your sin. I do not care how smart you think you are - He is much smarter. I do not care how clever you are - He is more clever. I do not care what your IQ is - He created your IQ!

My crime of murder was committed in 1993, 17 years after I had given my heart to Jesus Christ. After my conversion, I sold my clothing business in Southern California, and went to Bible College and Graduate School. I felt I had been "Called" into the ministry. I grew in human knowledge about the "Word of God" and the vocabulary that goes with being a Christian. There were times that I could hear His voice and great signs and wonders happened around me. My family and I would pray and doors would open, people called us the "perfect" family. After my graduation from Graduate School, I became a schoolteacher and a lay minister. For years I followed this path.
Then I let Satan rob my joy. Through some circumstances that are not important now, I became bitter towards the Church. I had taken my eyes off of Jesus and became very prideful in my accomplishments. I felt I could do it on my own; why couldn't I?  I was an educated man, who was a teacher and a minister. I even made it to the ranks of college professor - I was teaching in a graduate school at the time of my arrest.
My two beautiful children had both grown and married. My wife and I had just celebrated our 26th wedding anniversary. I had been faithful for all those years. Then, while I was at a conference, the oldest story in the world happened to me - older man meets younger woman. It was infatuation from the first moment we laid eyes on each other. It seemed we had everything in common. We talked and talked for the duration of the conference, which was one week long.
We both were married and not happy in our relationships with our spouses. My mind ran with the emotional and fulfilling attention that she poured out on me. I had in my mind ... made myself like a sponge for any type of attention. I had changed my beliefs! I told myself that I owed myself a new relationship. What deception!
I never committed physical adultery with her, but my mind certainly did. We lived about 800 miles apart, so we only saw each other three times face-to-face in the next eight months. However, we did communicate almost every day via phone or fax. My thought patterns were being readjusted as the time went on. I had considered divorce, but then my Christian values would kick in. This was a time of extreme anguish and I thought I had lost my mind. I was truly the double-minded man that James talks about in his letter in the New Testament of the Bible. I had such an inner battle going on; I felt I was going to explode at any time.
As time continued I became more and more confused about who I was - the whole time thinking that I was on top of things.  Talk about deception! Remember, I knew what the Word of God said about marriage, temptation, sin and adultery. Even though I never committed the physical act of adultery with this woman, it still had me taking my wife's' life - literally.
My consciousness of the situation finally came to a point of decision. For the first time in months I prayed and I felt the Lord tell me to confess my sin to my wife and repent for my behavior. I did, but then we argued, and my anger got out of control.  It resulted in my murdering her.
I know my thought patterns are what controlled my behavior. I left myself wide open for satanic attack. I did not resist the devil's temptation, as James 4:7 says to do, and my anger turned into uncontrollable rage before I knew it. There is no one to blame except myself. I am not looking for sympathy either.  I simply feel God wants me to express how important it is to keep your eyes on the Lord and seek to obey His Word - in all things.  We are under attack all the time. Our society has become obsessed with sexual pleasure. It seems no matter that where you turn you are bombarded with individuals selling sexual pleasure.
If I were with you right now, I would have an altar call for men to come forth and repent. I would ask the Father to give us the strength as men to stand with integrity. I would challenge us to make a commitment to our wives and family, to be the Priest of our homes, and to study the Word of God and be convicted by the Holy Spirit.

Yes I have lost everything that was dear to me. My two grown children do not communicate with me. I have never seen or touched any of my grandchildren; I have three and one on the way! (At the time of this writing). I robbed my children of ever being kissed or hugged by their mother. I robbed my grandchildren of ever knowing their grandmother. I have lost all my material wealth. I have lost almost every friend that I had. I have lost contact with almost all of my family.
But I now know who Jesus Christ is! He came to my cell and forgave me of my sins. He set me free, inside! He called me again to preach His mighty message. I now have a captive audience here in prison. He has called me twice now; He will not have to call me again. I have received the invitation into my heart.

I pray that my testimony will help just one person not to make the same mistake that I did, to think that your sins would not be found out, and that you do not let God help you if you have an anger problem.   Remember that God will not be mocked! If you do not believe me, read the Bible.  It is full of God's judgment on disobedient people all through history.

In His Love & Service,
David Ewart

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